Note to Self …

JUST TO REMIND ME:

I exist because of the deaths of trillions and trillions of beings and hundreds of thousands of species that all came before me. These beings struggled and survived extreme dangers, and each one of them faced and experienced death.

Some were eaten, some died of old age, some from disease others just from bad luck …

I have a HUGE legacy of courage before me. They faced it all.

So can I. So will I.

Humanity all has the same mom. Eve actually existed according to mitochondria DNA, so I must remember when I meet people of different colors, shapes and mindsets that …

Those are KIN. Literal brothers and sisters. We are one people. With ONE mom.

How lucky am I to be here?

My father’s half of my DNA beat out 75 million sperm out of thousands of batches roughly the same size, and on my mum’s side, her half of me ACTUALLY got in front of a queue of around 300,000 eggs.

Why?

Just to get ME here?

I choose to remind myself that I can see over a billion colors.

So, I choose to SEE more than just what I’m glossing over. With over a billion colors, why should I miss a one?

When I feel sorry for myself, or full of self anger or hatred. I think of these great courageous beings before me and realize that behind me there wasn’t a SINGLE sissy among them all.

Every being that faces death has to face death’s truth beyond the erasure of ego. And nobody is a sissy after that.

So why start now?

I’m not planning on leaving anytime soon. But living? I choose that right now with the people I naturally love and those I choose to.

Cassandra’s Musing of the Day…

I dream a little dream of me.
That dreams of a little dream of me.

You dream a little dream of you.
That dreams of a little dream of you.

We both dream a dream of a soul’s recursion.
In infinite lives, and infinite dispersions.

But we dream of a soul that is not there.
But the dream of that soul, it does not care.

Materialism and Idealism both sing of souls.
One is determinedly real, and one a free-will “suppose.”

Talking to Alzheimers – 2

I’m a Personal Fitness Trainer for my day job. I had this conversation with an elderly client a few years ago whose story is changed just enough to hide her identity.

CLIENT: “Will, I can only get five sessions now. My husband is in memory care and the bills are killing me.”

ME: “Yikes! I’m sorry. No worries. I’m glad to help. My mom is in memory care right now. How are you holding up?”

CLIENT: “Oh, he’s fine. He thinks I’m his mother …  AND …  he now has a girlfriend.”

ME: “Ow. How does THAT feel?”

CLIENT: “I’m okay. He’s a story teller, and I get to watch her hang on his every word.”

((PAUSE))

CLIENT: It’s good to see him in love.”

ME: (TRYING NOT TO TEAR UP): “Excuse me, but I have exactly three words for you

((PAUSE))

… BEST …

((PAUSE))

… WIFE …

((PAUSE))

…EVER.”

Talking to Alzheimers

Went to see mom today. Asked her a familiar question:

ME: “Mom, you are wiser than I. What do you think is the meaning of life?”

((SHE PAUSED LIKE SHE HEARD THE QUESTION FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER FROM ME.))

MOM: “I don’t know. The MEANING of life?”

ME: “Yeah.”

MOM: “Breathing in and out.”

ME: “Breathing in and out?”

MOM: “Yeah, until you die.”

ME: “Okay. So, if breathing in and out is the meaning of life, what’s the meaning of death?”

((A SHORT PAUSE))

MOM: “Not breathing in and out.”

****

Jeannette Harper: ZEN MASTER

PERSONAL NOTE: If she paralleled her death statement with her life statement it would read, “Not breathing in and out until you live.”

I got nothing on this chick folks. Really.

Certainty

As you may know, I have an opinion about certainty …

1. I can be certain and wrong.

2. I can be certain and right.

BOTH FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME.

So, since I want to feel “right” and be certain because it feels empowering, why should I deny myself smugness anytime I want it? It’s JUST a feeling. And it’s one I can create any “now” I want.

I just realized (again) that I can choose a feeling of certainty as a light for life in any present moment of existence. Why “need to be right” to feel certain when I can just be smugly arrogant ALL THE NOWS?

Answer? I don’t. So, I’m not.

From Johnson’s “Dinosaur” Dictionary:

Certainty: Exemption from doubt. (Locke) Exemption from failure. That which is real. (Shakespeare); Regularity.

Now, if YOU like this idea, feel free to use it to make the present moment your little whipping boy – even when you are being done in!

Certainty.

Anynow.

Any-now-where.

Phil Fable – Sol

Another Self-Contained Fable of Phil and Cassandra:

Phil dropped to the floor exhausted. As he lay there he looked up at the white ceiling and wondered why the fuck he kept at it.

This world was about to die in a massive solar flare and he knew it. He also knew he couldn’t stop it.

So he sat up finally. Walked over to the window and faced the sun.

“Bring it Sol,” he stated.

Sol brought it.

Phil’s body vanished in the raging light of oblivion.

 

Cassandra’s Own Kind of Crazy

Another Self-Contained Fable of Phil and Cassandra:

CASSANDRA:
So, you know something about infinity mathematics right?

PHIL:
Yeah. A little. And I MEAN a little.

CASSANDRA:
So what is the smallest level of infinity?

PHIL:
Aleph 0. The integers.

CASSANDRA:
Good. What’s the highest degree of infinity?

PHIL:
It’s unknown.

CASSANDRA:
Well you already know there are higher levels of infinity. For example, the infinity of the irrational numbers DWARFS the infinity we call Aleph 0 right?

PHIL:
Yeah, that’s confusing as hell, but yeah I hear that’s true and that irrationals dwarf the integers in size …?

CASSANDRA:
Well, for a master or Omega infinity to exist, I say it must be paradoxical in order to have all other infinities be a subset of IT.

PHIL:
I’ll just say ‘sure’ crazy lady …

… Sure …

(CASSANDRA SIPS COFFEE AS CAMERA PANS OUT TO THE SKY WHILE CASSY AND PHIL PUT ON DARK GLASSES TO BEHOLD THE LARGEST STAR OF ALL TIME GO SUPERNOVA. THE WHOLE SKY FILLS WITH LIGHT.)

CASSANDRA:
Ah, the largest star ever existing goes supernova. This is a great gift for my birthday Phil. Getting me across time and space to behold the greatest supernova ever  it is quite a gift. Thank you.

Anyway, the largest infinity is that of soul potentials my friend. And every point of that infinity is the center of all it’s other potentials. God is a collective not a person.

PHIL:
Sure. Nice tautology Cassy.

CASSANDRA:
Do me a favor. Face the infinite number of soul potentials in my coffee cup.

(PHIL CLOSES HIS EYES AND OPENS HIS MIND TO THE CUP’S SPACE AND CASSY’S OMEGA INFINITY HE BECOMES DEEPLY STIRRED)

PHIL:
HOLY FUCK! Yikes! What was that?

CASSANDRA:
Just a tautology baby.

(CASSANDRA SIPS HER COFFEE. HER FACE FULL OF THE NOVA LIGHT. )