Cassandra Fable – Sine Wave

Cassandra was finishing up her class on Differential Equations at the University of Texas at Arlington.

The students were getting their things together and a Christian asked an Atheist.

“So, you really don’t believe in God? Do you believe you have a soul?”

“No, answered the boy.”

Cassandra stopped. Gestured for them to look at the board.

She wrote the phrase “THIS IS A BULLSHIT TAUTOLOGY” across the top of the chalk board.

Beneath it she drew an X axis, a Y axis and a sine wave starting at zero.

In the positive “Y” half of the graph she wrote “Being.”

In the negative “Y” half of the graph she wrote “Not Being.”

She labeled the X-Axis “Time.”

She turned and looked at them. Then she returned to the board and wrote.

“The average of the sine wave is 0 across infinity.”

She looked at them. Turned and wrote again.

“The starting POINT is (0.0).”

She turned and looked at them again. This time with attitude and wrote two more lines.

“A point is that which has no part.” – Euclid

“Soul’s do not exist, therefore a soul is also that which has no part,” – Cassandra

“Therefore Point = Soul.

She turned and looked at them for a full ten seconds pointing at her quote, then she laughed out loud as she erased the board. She then walked out of the room, her heels clicking down the hall with a tone of joyful clarity.

The boy checked out her ass as she left and made a wish to God himself.

He finally figured out what she was really saying in his forties. It was the memory of Cassy’s ass that brought it all back to him.

He was deep like that.

The girl got a degree in engineering and became a minister’s wife.

 

Phil Fable – Phil Becomes God

Phil was sitting with his mutt on a park bench in New York City at Thomas Payne park. A lot of people don’t know why Thomas Payne has a park names after him in New York City. The reason is because the great writer died a homeless drunk on its streets. In his later years, Payne was ostracized by almost everyone because of a book he wrote. It’s title?

“Age of Reason.” Payne vicious attack on Christianity, Judiasm and Islam. 

Many people think Payne had bi-polar disorder. He was a drunk. He couldn’t keep a job. He sucked with money. 

But he literally wrote America into existence with his book “Common Sense.” And no book had the courage of “Age of Reason” and Payne almost paid for that book with his life in France. 

Phil sat there thinking about how New York City did this to both Thomas Payne and Nicola Tesla who both died penniless world changers. He thought about the intolerance of religion and went back to the day before when he was accosted by a religious zealot. Their conversation reverberated in Phil’s head. 

“You really like this Jesus guy huh?” said Phil. 

“Well, HE CHANGED MY LIFE. And I want you in heaven with me!” said the Zealot. 

“I don’t believe God exists anymore as you describe,” said Phil. 

This started the well-worn standard “Does God Exist” debate with the Zealot giving out the same old arguments skeptics have shot down for years to no avail. Eventually, like many such conversations, it comes down to the good-old finisher – the God of the gaps. 

“Well,” said the Zealot. “You can’t prove he DOESN’T exist.” 

Phil smiled. He’d been waiting a long time to hear that come up. 

“True. And you know what? There is something I forgot to tell you. I’M ACTUALLY GOD. Yeah, that’s right. I made this universe and then I became a man again. Not to save the world like Jesus did. No, it was just to enjoy it. You may kneel if you like.”

“YOU ARE GOD?” mocked the Zealot. 

“Yup. Kneel.”

“So pick up the stone with your mind if you are God.” 

“Easy Satan, Jesus didn’t fall for that when he met HIS devil in the desert. It seems I have met mine here. Let me explain. In this incarnation of my divine nature, I have forgone ALL my powers.” 

Phil looked at the world around him with great love and admiration. 

“No, I gave them all up to just be here. Nothing fancy. Just my work before me. You too. I made you. In fact, I have made so many universes, your mind cannot fathom their number.” 

“Sir, I caution you that you are being blasphemous right now.” 

“It’s not blaspheme if it’s true.” 

“Well then, if you are God, did Jesus rise from the dead?” 

“That’s a spoiler. Sorry. You have to keep it on faith. If I told you that answer you wouldn’t need faith would you?”

“You’re GOOD,” laughed the Zealot. “I’ve never met someone like you before. But come on. You really need to stop kidding yourself. The Bible says…” 

“SHUT UP!,” demanded Phil. “DON’T YOU KNOW YOUR GOD WHEN YOU SEE HIM?” 

The zealot stepped back. He started praying his eyes tightly shut …

“Dear Jesus, help this man see your grace, your sweet, sweet grace.”

He opened his eyes and Phil’s face and eyeballs were one inch away from his. 

“Boo.” said Phil. 

The zealot bounced back. He started walking away from Phil hastily. 

Phil pursued him from behind trumpeting his Godhood with the same logic the Zealot used earlier. 

“Can you prove that it is NOT true? Can you prove that I am NOT God? Can you? Well, that’s the point isn’t it. If you are going to base your tautological beliefs on what is NOT provable, then why be some God’s BITCH when you can be the GOD HIMSELF! Why waste such power? Can you prove that YOU are not God?” 

The zealot turned around. 

“I”ll pray for you.’ 

“You mean TO me right?”

“NO!”

“Why so great a no? I can’t prove your God doesn’t exist and you can’t prove I am NOT the God you worship.” 

“I”m done here,” said the Zealot. 

“Wait, one more thing, and I promise I will let you go. I gave you free will after all. I want to say ONE thing to make it all right.” 

The Zealot stood still – waiting. 

“I’m not really your God.”

“Thank you,” said the Zealot.

“I know your God doesn’t exist anymore because I captured Him myself. He was a gene-torturer and guilty of celestial war crimes among the continuum of monads. He had to be taken out, and it was my job. I did it with this wrist watch.”

Phil held up his left wrist and continued. 

“It sucked him up just like in Ghost Busters. I’m sorry. It was for the betterment of the rest of the multiverse. I can assure you, though that we didn’t send him to a hell like he did to trillions. We didn’t stoop to HIS level. Nobody deserves hell. Let’s just say he can’t hurt anyone anymore …” 

The zealot just walked away. 

A pretty girl captured Phil’s attention back to where he was. A fall leaf blew and lodged itself agains his trowser as Phil petted Mickey. Mickey put his chin on his knee and Phil felt Mickey’s tiny chin bones cut into his thigh. He thought about the Zealot and realized that his conversation had NO impact whatsoever. 

“You remember don’t you Mick. Oh, that Jehovah was NOT happy! I still shudder at the look in His face as he was sucked into the A-11…” 

Cassandra Fable – Nursing Duty

“What are you thinking?”, asked the red headed nurse to the soldier. 

“I-I-I-m wondering if I’ll get back home. The doctor isn’t too positive looking.” 

“He’s tired,” she said. “He has long days tending the massive influx of incoming wounded.”

“When I get back, I want to go back to Harvard.”

“What were you studying there.”

“Philosophy. I have an interest in Philosophy, especially in Eastern Philosophies.”

“Oh, like Jainism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Confucianism and Taoism?”

“You seem to know a lot for a nurse. You’re as smart as you are gorgeous.”

“I do tend to arise more than in men than just their spirits,” she smiled.

He smiled back and said, “General Grant will prevail. The Union will be saved.”

“So I hear,” said Cassandra. “It seems more likely every day.”

She changed out his bandage on his leg, careful to not let him see the rapidly spreading gangrene into his abdomen. 

“How’s my thigh?” 

“I”m not a doctor. He’ll have to let you know.” 

“If it’s gangrene, I’m a goner it’s too high to amputate.

“We’ll see,” said Cassy. 

Cassy finished dressing the wound and was about to get up. 

“Since you know all about eastern religions, what do you think Enlightenment is?” he asked. 

“What do you think?” 

“I think it’s a secret and amazing power to overcome all suffering.” 

“Really? That’s not what I think.” 

“What do you think?” 

Cassy gave a dumb look and said, “I’m no philosopher like you.” 

“Tell me. I know I’ll never get to have you like I want you, at least you can tell my what you think. I may not be here next week. This may be it.” 

She sat down on his bed and leveled with him. 

“You’re not going to be here much longer. The gangrene is in your abdomen. You’re not going back to Harvard. But I can tell you right now what enlightenment really is. What it is once you strip away all the bullshit, religious nonsense, flowery words and mystical stuff. Are you ready?”

The boy’s face was ashen. 

“You look ready NOW,” she said. 

She took out two pre-rolled cigarettes and gave one to him and herself. She lit a match lit his first and then hers. 

She took a puff and spewed a puff of smoke into the air with such sensuality the entire ward almost came at once. Nobody ever took their eyes off of Cassy. 

She bent over and whispered to him.

“Enlightenment, my dear Todd Cowen, is to love your fate absolutely and to grant yourself grace when you cannot do even that. Enlightenment is shared and co-dependent – you need others to help you sustain it. That said, I would say that Enlightenment is the eternal decision to never be a coward with reality.” 

She took another puff and said. 

“It’s fucking courage – and not the puffed up kind. The quiet kind. The resolute kind. YOUR kind.”

She tipped her cigarette at him to make the point. Then she continued. 

“Do you know how I know you are strong?” she asked. 

“H-H-How?”

“Because you will face death soon. Life makes the most amazing creatures, and her greatest gift to all is that it makes every one of her children strong enough to face death — even if they think they cannot. That is why I love life, and why I love YOUR life.

She winked at him. And then spoke with stark clarity. 

“I think you should write a letter while you can. You can dictate it to me. I will make sure your loved ones get it.” 

He rustled to a sitting position. 

“I want them to remember me as brave…” he said. 

“I assure you I will,” she said. 

She got up quickly and returned with paper and pen. She held the writing board and paper in one hand with the the cigarette and the pen in the other. She set the ink bottle on the floor. 

“Dear Mom, Dad and Trix…” he began.