Phil sat on the john doing his constitutional reading the book, “Everyone Poops.”
“Like any life form on earth, it’s part of the whole gig”, he thought.
He put the book back in the magazine holder, stood and looked down at processed lentils and beets and started a red swirl.
“Plumbers are so under-rated,” he thought. “They help us process the shit and piss in our lives and keep it from making our lives stink and have less disease. They are GODS …”
He walked out of his bathroom and out the front door. He saw Venus in the sky cresting the morning.
“Great GODDESS! He cried. You are SO HOT and so high above me, I shall never experience your love from a violent prostate spasm, but I long for it! For YOU are like my Cassandra, always there and so, so far away and too hot for such a one as I …”
“I heard that,” said Cassy in his ear.
“Fuck, THAT was ON?”
“Awkward,” said Cass.
“True though. Damn true. You know it.”
“Well, I need to go to work.”
“K. Love you dear. And remember, when I’m with my girl I WON’T be thinking of YOU.”
“You enjoy this suffering don’t you?”
“You know it.
“You are so twisted.”
“Yeah, but I find it endearing. Keeps my jobs interesting.”
“And what is your job exactly Cassandra?”
“I am your plumber!”
“Plumbers are the shit,” said Phil. “They make civilization POSSIBLE.”
“Ewwww… did you have to go there?”
He looked up at Venus again right as he got to his car. Checked his watch.
“See you Venus.’
“See you,” said Cassandra.
The planet answered with burning silence.