Phil Fable – Cassandra Lays Down the Law

It was 2013 and Cassandra took the podium at a mathematics conference in a talk titled “Women in Mathematics.”

There were a few women in the audience. But mostly, it was men looking for women in mathematics.

“Hello peeps! Any burning questions out there before I begin?,” said Cassandra.

“What’s the truth of life the Universe and everything?” said a girl jokingly.

“I’ve got something better,” she said. “It makes the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything look as appealing as a half-used tootsie pop in a sandbox.”

“But before I tell you let me explain my best guess of reality. In my humble opinion, the truth is an evolving reality. It actually CHANGES the more we look for it. I know that is a-priory bullshit but at least I own my a-priory bullshit. But if Kurt Godell’s ideas about incompleteness are bigger in their scope than we think, then I may not be too far off. And even if the truth is something graspable, then it would be boring. I have something way better, and much more edgy.”

She put a hands on her hip dropped her other arm to the side and pursed her lips and stunned them all with poise and pomp. Her eyes played with the crowd with her eyebrows playing center stage. First she raised one. Then she raised the both and looked around. Then brought them down in scorn and then relaxed at the tension she crated in the crowd.

Then she smiled.

Her red hair flared out from her face and her off-set bangs  cut at an edgy fashion angle.  She smiled and turned her back to the class like she was rejecting them. Her blouse went up her neck and down her arms. It had a hole cut out of it in the center of her back. The class beheld in the center of her shoulders a tattoo of an X inside a circle inside a starburst. Her entire outfit obviously was designed to frame it.

She looked over her shoulder at the class.

“Wanna know what it is?”

They all looked at her respectfully.

She walked up to the class and paused for a full thirty seconds.

“I guess I should give you a little warning first. You have never heard of the word I’m about to tell you. That’s because I completely made it up for myself. But here it is.

“It’s the Falsth.”

She walked over to a dry erase board and wrote two words.

“THE FALSTH:”

She continued to pace.

“Now, I know you don’t know what this is, so I’ll cut to the chase. Do you remember your parents ever telling you that you or someone else they knew could find fault with anything? And they meant ANYTHING?”

Some nods came in agreement.

“THAT’S IT!” she yelled. “You just have to USE that and expand it to eliminate and subjugate all religion and philosophy under your feet in total domination. But to HAVE total domination over the search for truth in religion and philosophy, you must first know the exact definition of the Falsth and then once and for all you can crush EVERYTHING in all matters of religion and philosophy.”

She walked over to the dry-erase board on wheels. Picked up the red marker, spun the board around so the crowd couldn’t read what she was writing.

After she was done she stood at the side of the board and looked around the room. “You guys have something to write this down? Because you only get this once. I have NEVER shared this with anyone.”

She turned the board around.

THE FALSTH: “You can find true falsehood in any mythos.” 

She stood waiting for the question she knew would come.

A hand went up.

“Yes.”

“Well can’t you apply the Falsth to the Falsth?”

“Yes.”

“So it is no longer falsth.”

“RIGHT! The Falsth that negated the former Falsth is now the Falsth. You just apply it to that result and BANG! It’s FALSTH all over again. And you can go around and around in a game but you can ALWAYS bring it back to submission at least for your move in the game.”

“Any other questions?”

She drew a circle on the board next to the phrase.

“This circle represents the Falsth.”

She drew a diagonal line dividing the circle into two hemispheres from two o’clock to eight o’clock.

“This is the Falsth negating the Falsth.”

She drew another line bisecting the circle from top to ten o’clock to four o’clock making an X sign in the circle.

“This is the Falsth negating the Falsth negating the Falsth. What you get is the Symbol ‘Teth’ which is the symbol from ancient times that means ‘soul’ or ‘spirit’ for those of you who have the friends that can give you the courage to choose one. I think the spirit is really a paradox of being and non-being … and … THAT …”

She breathed in and out slowly.

“… is a total mind fuck.”

She outlined the circle with her finger.

“I have a soul!,” she said in a childlike manner.

“No you don’t,” she said harshly following the first line though the circle with her finger.

“I don’t NOT have a soul,” she says as she follows her finger to divide the circle into two.”

She pointed to the symbol.

“Teth.”

“Isn’t that just zero?,” asked a student.

“No, it’s FAULT FINDING.”

“I thought you were a mathematician,” said a Student.

“I am.”

“Well, this seems very much like pseudo-mathematics at best.”

“Right. The Falsth isn’t the truth. I TOLD you that. WERE you listening? I also told you that I own my bullshit as bullshit. But let me clarify. Do you know what the Falsth really is?”

He nodded no.

“It’s a DECISION to find fault. Dig enough and you will ALWAYS find it.”

She paused for effect then started erasing the dry-erase board.

“And it also has a positive side. The ‘true falsehood in every mythos’ of the Falsth points to the notion that a mythology may present truths while itself not being true. Savvy? Besides, you shouldn’t believe me. I AM named Cassandra after all if you keep up on Greek Mythology. Okay, let’s talk number theory …  any Georg Cantor fans out there or are you all just a bunch of grumpy old Leopold Kroneckers?”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s