Just Sitting in the Cusp

Once there was a hack philosopher who was pretty good at twisting real science into bullshit.

For years, he had pondered whether or not there was a soul. Buddhists say “no” to this idea and also claim that enlightenment is possible, while Hindus say “yes” there is a soul (atman) and that enlightenment is possible. Abrahamic traditions also say “yes” and that “If you don’t get the answer right, God is gonna fry your ass and if you get it right, it’s a foreverness of awesome … with cake!”

“Hmm,” he thought. “So all three groups think there is a woo-hoo ultimate awesome you can count on even if you can’t count on you being real.”

He then took Godel’s incompleteness theorems and extrapolated them to be factually true for the material universe. By doing so, he saw that it forced Universes into two planes: 1. Complete Universes that are inconsistent and 2. Consistent Universes that are incomplete.

This is a huge assumption and he knew it. But, it was all he had being a hack and all, so he continued in his delusion. He decided to align any “real” souls with complete universes and any “false” souls with consistent Universes.

Both sets of souls felt exactly the same in both types of universes.

“Therefore, in a complete Universe, a soul could ACTUALLY exist because there would always be inconstancies available for such “magical souls” to be possible. But in a consistent, incomplete Universe, a soul and magic would NOT exist but would permit only a delusional self to feel and experience a self like one DID exist. Consistent reason would factually disprove a soul in a consistent universe and appear to disprove a soul in a complete universe.”

“So … which universe am I in?” he wondered. “Complete and false or Incomplete and real?”

So he decided to reject them both.

He declared. “Only one thing I know to be absolutely true and that there is NO soul. And the other thing I know to be absolutely true is that is that there is no “no soul.”

He then imagined both exclusionary axioms and held them up as the ultimate inconsistency. He placed them side by side and pushed them together and sat in the space between them and stated his best bullshit ever.

“The soul is the ultimate paradox and is unsolvable.”

So he sat down between both axioms with open eyes in zazen, his hands in the universal mudra which, ironically enough, looks like zero.

He just sat there. Nothing special.

3 thoughts on “Just Sitting in the Cusp

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