The Religious Experience of the Impossible

Once there was a homeless guy in a big city with rotted teeth, diabetes, infected feet and signs of dementia.

“Human debris” according to a morbidly obese radio shock jock.

But this homeless guy had a PhD in math. He was a debris-novis. The Crème de la Crème of the bag people. On this day his mind was reaching the tipping point of dementia. But today, the Impossibles were especially kind to him. Darwin too was kind.

As he sat on a curb demoing the reality of “learned helplessness” he thought about zero. He always knew it was impossible to divide by zero, and that to do so was to obviate mathematics itself. Therefore, the division of zero HAD to be impossible otherwise logic and structure could not exist.

He noticed a half-empty Diet Dr. Pepper across the street. He got up, paced himself between the cars and people, walked over to it, opened the cap and took a taste. It was warm and fizzy.

As carmel-colored aspartame sloshed his teeth, he pondered “What was nothing really?”

He replied to himself, “Nothing is impossible!”

And then the flash of the impossible hit him. He sat down and screwed the lid back onto his Diet Doctor Pepper like a kook who had just convinced himself he knew the ultimate answer. There was a reason for this, of course.

He was a kook who thought he knew the ultimate answer.

“Division by Zero is the creation of the impossible set,” he whispered with frightening clarity. His mind raced back to what he knew about zero and he went straight into irrational thinking.

“If-you-divide-by-zero-then-you-can-prove-anything-as-true. Anything-false-becomes-true-and-anything-true-remains-true. If-so-then-a-math-that-allows-the-division-by-zero-is-the-impossible-math-and-THAT-IMPOSSIBLE-MATH-can-create-a-math-that- forbids-the-division-by-zero-and-then-THAT-MATH-is-the-possible-math!-And–and-therefore-a-subset-of-the-impossible-math. In-such-a-case-the-possible-can-never-prove-the-impossible-but-the-impossible-can–always-prove-the-possible. Nothing-is-impossible. The-soul-is-nothing. Free-will-is-impossible-therefore-free-will-is-nothing-AND THE FREE-WILL SOUL IS THE IMPOSSIBLE NOTHING!”

He took a breath.

“The possible set is a subset of the impossible set and the impossible set is infinitely larger than the possible set!”

He started crying. Uncontrollably. It was beginning.

“Nothing … is … impossible-and-nothing-IS-the-impossible. I-am-impossible-and-I-AM-the-Impossible. All-are-true-in-the-impossible-set.

“The free-will-self is the impossible nothing!”

He said it over and over and over. It became his mantra.

He started laughing uncontrollably. He took off his shoes and beheld his rotting feet. Diabetes was taking its toll. And it was fully raging in his brain.

“Hee-hee. Anything that is NOT impossible is MANDATORY. Mandatory requires … hee-hee … OBEDIENCE. But the impossible set … it … ORDERS THE MANDATORY AROUND  … the possible is but a thin film manifested by the dictates of the impossible. But then when you flip it, the possible orders the impossible around as non-existence…”

He stands and screamed, “I am the center of everything because my soul is the impossible nothing! You are the center of everything because YOUR SOUL IS THE IMPOSSIBLE NOHING!”

“Look at you all! You are all just possible meat! You are all just vessels to house the Impossibles or just the creations of The Impossibles or just random generations of Universal Darwinism! But in ANY CASE you have no free will and are only meat! Only the impossibles have free will!

He broke out in hysterical laughter and shouted:


He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted…

“Joseph Campbell said, ‘God is an INTELLIGIBLE SPHERE known to the mind and not to the senses whose center is … EVERYWHERE … and whose circumference is NOWHERE and whose center exists right where I am, and whose center exists right where you are. And each of us is a manifestation of THAT mystery!'”

Nobody listened. He knew they wouldn’t. He also knew the quote wasn’t right. But it was close.

He fumbled his pocket and pulled out a tattered copy of the Tao Te Ching with discolored edges, a creased color and smudgy pages. He plopped atop a half eaten donut and a ham crepe next to a garbage can.

“Shhh,” he said quoting the Taoist sage … “Those that say don’t know … and those that know don’t say …”

It was good smelling trash. It smelled right for a moment of divine realization. As he read the text he whispered it to himself. But he made one subtle, but important, substitution. He substituted “Tao” for “Impossible.”

The Tao Te Ching: Suttra 1.

The IMPOSSIBLE that can be walked is not the eternal IMPOSSIBLE.

The name that can be named is not the eternal name.

The nameless is the beginning of Heaven and Earth.

The named is the mother of all things.


Free from desire you see the mystery.

Full of desire you see the manifestations.

These two have the same origin but differ in name.

That is the secret,

The secret of secrets.

As he read, he was so calm and still that the impossible nothing could hear a pin drop. He could see it all … the impossible and possible … emptiness … form …  the … wordless …

He WAS the impossible nothing, with all its individuals owning every bit of it individually, collectively and socially. He perceived the possible – a vastly smaller infinitude – obeying the will of the Impossibles.

He saw those he called The Possibles obeying Universal Darwinism devoid of soul. He saw the possible as separate and superior to the impossible, and then the impossible as separate and superior to the possible. Emptiness/Form and Form/Emptiness and Form AND Emptiness…

The dementia crossed the tipping point and he felt it. Something new was happening.

He sensed it was ending. But he was okay. He WAS the free-will impossible nothing! And that was enough.

He stood up and started staggering barefoot down the street leaving his shoes by the trashcan. He tried to beg from a stranger but his words slurred.

His arm couldn’t move and he looked intently at his arm not moving.

It was soon getting VERY hard to look at his hand not moving because suddenly there were several of them.  He noticed a headache and a numbing in his face.

Everyone thought he was drunk.

And not a one saw the impossible nothing in all its glory.

9 thoughts on “The Religious Experience of the Impossible

  1. Excellent work! I began with a smirk but was quickly hooked. Read it straight through and both enjoyed your prose and FOLLOWED it! Good job. So what next? Coffee table book? That is where these messages go you know. haha

    • Chris, thank you for you kind words. I’m sorry it took so long to respond. I seem to spend more time on other people’s blogs than my own.

      Shifting that 20/80 to 80/20.

  2. I have come back to re-read it again..I was looking for this two words “learned helplessness”
    this two words is like flaming sword, slicing through my universe….no matter where I look That is what I see…learned helplessness….since 73 i been mucking out that learned helplessness.. what has replaced it is the magic of creation in now….

  3. I wish I coined the term Elizabeth, but it’s actually a term used in Psychology. It deals with an experiment where they shocked dogs in cages and abused them to such degree that EVEN WHEN GIVEN THE CHANCE TO ESCAPE, THEY STAYED WITHIN THEIR CAGES AND WHIMPERED AT THE SHOCKS WITH A DOOR OPEN IN FRONT OF THEM.

    Yikes. What kind of person would shock dogs for knowledge? I swear, those old school biologists and psychologists were some MEAN mofos. . .

    Sadly though, their experiments did reveal useful ideas. But I think they can be found out through less tortuous means.

    • William I can’t bear thoughts of animals made to suffer… Only humans who suffer tormented deeply them self can inflict the same to others, that torture which they have dished out spilt out, was the garbage in their mind. In the name of science they did what otherwise they did not dare to do…learned helplessness do apply to those man too…

      • It’s getting a lot better because of groups like PETA. And we are becoming more aware of the rich and colorful lives lived by animals.

        But yes. Ignorance is a sort of learned helplessness isn’t it?

      • William this is from my blog so after reading you can erase it.. no problem… Indigo was a stray cat who have found me, but he is been gone from his body 3 years this month…
        I have nothing but affinity for all critters great and small.
        Since most of my lives I have lived not as human but lived close to or was one as of those wonderful beings for whom I have great love, toward the ones who do not have the need to become, the need for human body.
        One of my recalls brought back a wonderful experience in which I have met a being who has become my very first friend, a Sabre Tooth Tiger.
        At that time I was just wandering about the Universe I was just wandering, there was no hurry to get too or from anywhere go to anyplace do anything, there were no special reasons to become anybody.
        This Universe I was in is the Universe which is forgotten by the humans and only exists in Fairy Tales and in children’s innocent imagination, the universe which was created by the magical ability of Theta.
        Naturally that time my body was not solid or any shape or form since most occasions I did not bother to mock one up since there was no reasons existed to do so, I had everything without.
        And when I had a body mocked-up it was just a very flimsy thing , no substance to it at all, and that has given a bit of problem having, since One had to keep constant attention on it otherwise it would just simply dissolve melt into the surrounding.
        In my wanderings my attention was pulled into a distant picture far away a picture of a mountains and valley, I descended from to have a closer experience.
        The terrain was beautifully wild ragged mountainside sheer cliffs hang suspended from nowhere, the grey ancient boulders were stacked up high in random, low growing shrubbery among the boulders, tuft of tall dried grasses were blowing in the breeze.
        On the boulders one could see the old mosses dried by the heat of the sun, here and there crumbling splitting rocks and small gravels rolled as the river in narrow deep channels down toward the valley from the steep sloops.
        Among the boulders here and there were small clumps of evergreens these there were so old and weather worn that the bark from the trees were long gone, now the wood shone in the light in silvery pale grey.
        Up in the highest level there was dark space among the boulders I could see the well hidden entrance to the cave.
        The valley lay bellow of the almost barren mountainside, here, the lush grasses grown tall and the trees offered cool shade and the colors of the succulent grasses were deep emerald green.
        The only splashing ringing sounds could be heard was coming from the creek, the sounds as the water flowed over the rough stones here the water was the tongue and the bells were the stones.
        I was not doing anything special outside viewing this lovely terrain from above, I was just experiencing the whole valley, the sparkling creek, its echoing sounds and the sunny mountain side and that view, that picture has become a momentarily anchor point in space.
        I was just there no idea of passing of time, since there was none: any movements to which I could have compared something to something.
        Than the energy flow changed I to become alert and curious experiencing the sudden change.
        Aha, I noticed the source my attention was pulled toward to the highest point just outside front of the cave entrance. I have observed a critter standing high on boulder looking around. It was a very big pussy cat, he oozed power he was the source! What a wondrous sight he was, beautiful in every way, the creation of raw beauty in motion.
        My, I thought, observing this lovely cat and I have salivated invisibly of course, thinking of the possibility of the game to be had.
        Like flash I zipped down to the valley and I mocked up the body in great hurry and started to walk about, Oh, he noticed right off, naturally, he had too as I have intended that he would.
        Like a shadow of a dark cloud he oozed, poured over boulders and crevices down into the valley and the game began.
        He started to stalk, hiding behind boulders flattening his body to the ground, sliding in silence through the tall grasses and I played the game well that did not see him.
        So I become hunted, I leaped out of his reach we run, we jumped, flown over the huge boulders, hid behind tree trunks, or I in silence in sneaky way have dissolved my body to cause a bit of confusion for him.
        While he was franticly looking for his next meal, I would appear at a different location, we run all over the place up on one side of the mountain than down again as we played hide seek.
        Finally I let him come close and as he taken a wild leap toward my body claws out to slash, mouth wide open, of course he has fallen right through me landed with great crash and from the violent landing he tumbled, rolled over and over.
        He was up and turned back in on instant you should have seen his face his eyes full of wonder because he missed his pray, he was coming at me again slashing at my body with his long sharp claws as I stood there unharmed not moving, than he has realized nothing was happening, he made few more wild slashes at the air where I was ,I knew than he was seeing it for himself how it could be than he just set down and looked at me, wonder and understanding in his beautiful golden eyes.
        I stepped to him and I touched his beautiful head and he in recognition purred and rubbed his head against my translucent body.
        From then on we two have become inseparable; we walked side by side our communication was expressed as pure joy, affinity in whole.
        When he slept I would mock -up my body and lay by his side resting my head on his powerful shoulder.
        He experienced great joy and has become fun for him to walk or jump through my mocked up body. Once in a while as he would wildly chasing after me I would let the body become more solid so he could catch me and experience the joy of solidity, having-ness, how he love that.!!!
        We rolled about wrestled and we bitten, clawed at the nothing. The valley rang from our soundless roars, shouts and laughter. We had great fun, we were the fun the ability, the joy how to play.
        At times when the light were gone and the billions of distant stars hang suspended above, that time would find us sitting side by side by the creek watching as the starlight was sprinkled over the dancing water and sharing space with each other and the Universe.
        I have remained in that place long as he was with his body. We were together when he finally made the decision to leave.
        Odd thing happened which was so unexpected to me taken me by surprise, soon as he left his body the mountain and the valley too has disappeared.
        All that wild, beautiful terrain was just mock-up same as his body which he has done for just for the fun of it!!
        And there we were, two free beings looking forward a new game, knowing whatever we do next was ours, our own reality. For the love of the Game!!!
        PS: He is here, my Indigo, we have found each other again. Now I have the body and it is he, Indigo who is waiting for me for the moment when I sever my connection to this MEST Universe from this valley and then we will continue our uncharted journey to rediscover the Universe.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s