It’s 8:13 p.m. Do You Know Where Your Religion Is?

A Unitarian Universalist minister and her date were enjoying dinner at a restaurant. It was their third date and things were going well. Eyes were connecting, hands were touching, hearts beats syncing, breathing patterns aligning, and voice tones matching.

Even the over-played retro song in the background couldn’t botch this coupling.

He raises his wine glass and asks, “So why do you find religion so fascinating?”

She fields the question with a twinkle in her eyes and quickly darts them at her cell phone. She picks it up and checks Twitter. She takes a long, slow, loud inhale and begins.

“It is Friday night 8:13 Central Standard Time. Somewhere here in Texas, a running back just scored a touchdown, dropped to his knees and crossed himself and was penalized. The Christians boo the official.  A group of Wiccans across town just completed a ceremony to create world harmony. I know, they invited me. A Tibetan meditation bowl has just rung somewhere in New York City. A muslim somewhere in the world just informed his host that he couldn’t eat the pork and the host was horribly embarrassed and quickly cooked a cheeseburger for him. Of course, this is also not legal.”

He laughed.  She nestled closer and lowered her voice and put down her phone.

“A Jewish family is observing Shabbat. A 16 year old Fundamentalist Mormon girl is having five minutes of sex with a fifty year old because she was convinced that she is God’s instrument for delivering spirit children into our planet. A scientist just found a creationist’s tract denouncing evolution and threw it away and went back to reading Richard Dawkins latest book. A young man felt a still small voice to share his faith with his mother. Hundreds of teenagers are experiencing a huge religious awakening from many different faiths, and most feel deep down that THEIR’S is the ‘real truth.’

She holds up her finger to indicate a pause, takes a drink of wine, and drops her finger.

“An African American male is standing on a street corner in Fort Worth telling people they need Jesus Christ to be saved.  I know this because he is there every Friday.  A woman somewhere just read a verse in the Bible that deeply touches her life because it deals with her failing relationship with her husband. She is crying and comforted at the same time. Across town her husband sees an ‘I am Second’ ad on a billboard and is convicted about cheating on his wife and decides to tell her. And amid all this, a Jain avoids stepping on an insect in New York City.”

“And the single Unitarian Minister?” He asks.

“Oh the single,UNITARIAN MINISTER?,” she answers. “Oh well … yes … um … WELL. The Unitarian Minister has really enjoyed the day we’ve spent together and has already seen the movie that starts in 20 minutes.”

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